Is it still worthwhile?

So tired being considerate when you are not,
So tired when I knew I was right but I've to say sorry,
So tired when you started out the fire and blame me for starting it up,
So tired when you do things with $$$ in your mind first,
So tired when you break promises and you said that you never mentioned it before,

Because I am so tired already, that's why I felt tired too when you say sorry for all the stupid arguments that we don't really actually have to argue over.

Why do I have to fucking cry so easily when I argue with you,
Why do I have to force myself to talk shit when I'm still crying,
Why do I have to go through all those fucking temper when I know I dont have to,
Why do I have to consider so much for you when you dont,
Why do I have to put you at first place in everything when you dont,
Why do I have to doing things to make you happy when you still complain so much,

SueShen you were so right that few of us being so stupid and foolish when people dont even care to appreciate what we have done, not asking for a return but at least let us felt that its worth doing it, but I guess we have to accept that all this are facts from the realistic world.. Can't think about it, Im not even as important as playing mahjong with friends you know? ^^

Cheer up everyone and sorry for having an unpleasant post after some time :)

The Journey...

They who are near to me do not know that
you are nearer to me than they are.
They who speak to me do not know that
my heart is full with your unspoken words.
They who crowd in my path do now know that I am walking alone with you.
They who love me do not know that
their love brings you to me.



r.tagore

A night..

A night with thoughts and doubts..

Listening to the rain drops, peaceful and soul smoothing..
Imagining myself holding on an umbrella,
walking on the beautiful streets of London,
where every breath is chilling cold..

I love my freedom, I love my dreams..
But I know that it cannot be compared with reality..
Colourful, rhythmic, boarder less...

Think b4 u SPEAK..

If you think bitching and spreading stupid rumours behind their back is gona help,
NO you are wrong, you are ruining your ownself reputation ^^

If you think that you don't need to think and say things that hurt people,
GOD I pity that you are stuck at the age below 3 ^^

If you think that you get jealous when people are better than you, and you do things behind them,
*LAUGH* You will only get worse doing those kid's thing instead of improving yourself ^^

If you felt that friends around you start to not talking to you,
You are losing away true friendship becoz of your silly act. ^^

If you think that people are the one to blame when you don't get to do your things well,
Lol I am very speechless about someone who is not responsible with their own act ^^

***People that were your victims before might felt offended, but remember, it's just for a moment of anger, because they are not like you, and of course, WE'RE GROWNUPS ^^

Cheers to my dearie girls! Miss you all alot, see you all in class soon!

挫折..

今天有人收看华丽台的新秀大赛选拔赛吗?
就只是普普通通的比赛,可是..
到了淘汰关头,就有这两位参赛者,一男一女..
成绩宣布后,结果两位都没有很成功的进入下一场比赛..
司仪文康就安慰男的说:" 你还记得我问你的一个问题.."
"我问你..你最想唱歌给谁听? 你说....你最想唱给天上的妈妈听.."
说到这里.. 男的就哭了起来.什么也说不到..
"她一定听得到.." 文康说..
而我,只是电视机前的观众,眼泪自然而然的积聚在眼眶..

Changes..

I am pretty moody at this time, moody over small matters which it does not affect my life or people around me, but, it did affect my thoughts..

Friend:
You came back from Sabah since April, met you while I was having a dinner with my family.. Just dunno why, you changed alot since your father's death, and I know it was so sudden, although it was like almost a year already, but I knew it still give you an impact in your life..
The way you talk to me, you are so much more different, you talk so soft, you speak so uncertainly, you don't look the way you look last time, you don't smile and laugh so often like last time.. You are just a totaly different guy.. Someone told me, you start to smoke, you are puffing already, since when this young man where you used to oppose smoking so much... You made me worried..

Just got a news, a friend of my family, passed away..
..............................................*speechless*

Take good care and enjoy life, to everyone, especialy my dear girls and buddies..

P.S: When you are starting to count what you don't have, then you should start to count for what you have in your life, and at the end, you won't think that you don't have enough and life is great.. ^^

Mom.. Dad..

Finally I am gonna start work next Tuesday, working as a part-time trainer, which I am going to train internal people about presenting and product briefing.

Mom.. Dad..Ever know that why I insisted in working? At first my timetable is quite loosen up and I do not want to waste alot of time doing nothing at home after class.. The priority of me getting a job, is actually for you both, to have the chance to shower you both with all I can earn for now, at this time..

My biggest wish, is to see you both go for holidays or even honeymoon without needing to come out with a cent, or even to worry about the budget of the whole holiday, all will be sponsor by me and of course brother.

I know you both will never read this, that's why I am gonna write down just anything that I wanna say, and wish that somehow one day, you can feel what I feel while writing this blog.

Mom dad, I knew during my schooling time, I showered you with alot of dissapointment, mom you even felt so heartbroken taht you actually cried for my PMR results for not scoring flying colours in it, such tough women I knew since I was born, not even the hardest day could make her shed tears, but it was me..

You are working hard, you carry high responsibilities, and you don't spend for yourself, when I asked why.. You always say :" It's not easy to earn money,if there is any emergency, at least there is some to count on.."

Tears are starting to roll down halfway through the blog..**

I knew it was hard, I knew it was suffering, I knew you were not in a bed of roses till now,you have not got the chance to sit back and enjoy, there is so much more I couldn't just type it here, so much more, there is just so much more..

Please let me promised you that, you will be enjoying life when your daughter is successful, it won't be long mom dad..
I love seeing you both smile and laugh, that's the greatest smile I ever seen in my whole life.. I love you..

答应自己..

经过了那整晚的失眠.. 想起很多东西..
你说你特别在晚上,如果我睡不着,你会陪我..
昨天,你选择不管我..

这几年,真的好累..也许我们先前根本不该在一起..
为什么你可以给那么多的压力我,
你常说我是那种会要个百分百的人,你说这世上没有百分百的..
其实你有没有发现到,要求百分百的反而不是我..

昨晚的我,答应会把自己尽量地从这段感情连根拔起..

某人说:" 你知道为什么你会觉得我的眼睛美吗? 因为我一直看的都是你.."
You know why my eyes are beautiful? Because I am looking at you..

Crowded Cinemas

Wow wow, starting from 24th of May, I guess you will be so horrified by the crowd of people purchasing tickets for this movie, gosh! Parkings are limited, ilegal parkings are overload, the crowd is somehow too big, wooh , it's like you can't breath the thin air!! *Gasping for air* =O
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN!!!

But after this blockbuster, there are more to come!
*Resident Evil: Extinction

*Shrek 3: The Third

*Transformers

*Alon9 ( Well it's a thai horror movie,The Shutter's director)
*Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix
*Die Hard 4!!

Alright talking about Shrek 3, went to Mc.D with him, guess what he got back for me? Lol blardy shrek! Jeez what I noticed at first was the people working at Mc.D were wearing green little shrek ears muahauahauha! The packing and the drinks all are in total green! Don't get what I meant? Go visit Mc.D one of these days haha, you will find that like you are in a swamp place where shrek used to hang out =D.
But anyhow,thanks baby for the shrek, love it so much, plus it can talk and er.. Burp? =D Freaking hillarious!

Smells....

Aww damn..!!
Bloody bodyshop is having those crazy sales again! And guess what, they came out a new and limited edition perfume named "White Musk Too",but well, after sniffing it haha, I guess I will stick on to my all time favourite "White Musk", I bought the body lotion, the smell made me remind of my old schooling days during the secondary days, where I used to carry this smell in school haha.. Those were the good old days where we used to laugh through the whole day, remember those days Mady, Esther and Han Seng? Really miss you guys, you guys are really friends for life!

Well you might not remember someone's name or their outlook, one thing you will always regconized and remember is the smell..
Cheers people! Have a great week!


The Collection of White Musk

不翼而飞了...

哇... 好想哭噢!
我的宝贝可爱帖子不见啦! 授完房间每一个角落, 都找不到!
这两张是他送我的,很有纪念价值的...

帖子找不到, 反而灰尘一大堆! 害我要把房间抹一片!
希望早日可以找回它们..

喜剧之王

周星弛的一部戏..有一段很有意思..
周星弛与张柏芝坐在海滩..
芝就对着眼前黑暗的海滩说.. 咦? 眼前一片黑暗.. 什么都看不到..
弛就答说 .. 不是啊! 那边有一道光芒.. 如果仔细的看, 一定看得到!

What life is all about..

Ever encounter such situation when you can't sleep at night, staying up thinking about how your future looks like? You fell asleep without you yourself noticing it and the next morning you wake up, you feel so blur so aimles about your life..
Seriously I been through these situations many times,since when I started this? Since the day I started to think about my future..
A message for someone:
I know you are so worried and pissed off about your grades and marks for your results, and from here you started to link the grades to your future and afraid you might not have a good one.. Sweetie, no one knows about the future, you can't tell from your grades,they are not the fortune teller, you are you ownself fortune teller, you are incharge of what your future will be like.. Some people make billions, some did things that others thought it was a miracle, since there are people earning billions and making miracles, it shows that, you can be one of them too! Ask yourself,others can do it, why not you?! Why not me?!
You said working and studies, you are making your working life as primary,not so quick,no rush,no hurry,you have plenty of time to work, you even have your whole lifetime working, but studying is just a temporaly period for you to learn more,why not equip yourself more before you even step into a battlefield?
Our future are bright, as long as we never give up on it, don't let those obstacle pull you down,think of the other side of the coin, let them be your motivation to achive better,ok?

The Gastric..

I was striked by this pain call gastric after my last exam paper on Wednesday, honestly telling, the pain in me is still on going.. Posting out this blog is to remind friends of mine, please.. Beware of the gastric, it's indeed suffering..
I was awaken by this pain every 1 or 2 hours during my sleep in the midnights! I felt like vomitting, I almost cry and I know at the meantime I can't reduce my pain immediately,what I can do is to hope that I will become numb towards the pain..
Yesterday, I had only porridge and milk or cereal for the day, but still the pain won't stop! Till I seek the doctor, a placebo effect, I somehow felt better, thanks to him for insisting me to the doctor although he was dead tired after work..
Not sure when will the pain stop but I know it won't be that soon..

Midnight 1.45am

It's 1.30am in the morning, an early Sunday morning.. I'm still awake, thinking about things that I don't have a solution.. Thousand questions, not even a single answer,how could it be? Or there is answers, that I just don't have the courage to face it?

I am sentimental, I think alot, my mood swings easily... Up to a stage where I might shed tears for no reason,is this bad? I don't know...

I guess I really need to stamp my footprints in any other places to refresh myself, to make myself feel better,to somehow get rid of these situations, or shall I say that I feel like hiding away from these questions..

If there is a time machine, no matter how expensive it is, I am sure I will get one for myself, I need it eagerly, to travel back time, and see what I have done wrong in the past, that led me to a stage like this...

Have a great Sunday :)

伟大

这世界上…
每个人都有不同的想法…
想看当你关心一个人，自然而然你都不会要伤害他，
都会尽量顾他的感受…
却还来一句冷淡的回答与讽刺… ：“你每次都以为自己很伟大…”
原来这样做，让他联想到的是我刻意要装伟大…
朋友说：不要对人太好，反而是自己受伤…

Day by Day...

Gonna have alternative midterm tomorrow morning which I have no idea what to study or prepare about, what a pity... Well try my best to study and understand and also recall for what Lina mentioned earlier in class to help me in tomorrow's paper.
I can't concentrate well, alot of thoughts running wild in my mind these days, alot that I can't figure out the solution, well I guess the best solution is that I don't do anything and let time help me solve it..
Well watched the short film this afternoon in the production room, seeing and looking at myself in the film was weird, weird is because in this final piece of work, I don't see the main actress as myself, automatically I see it as someone else, and this film is real nice after all the editing and stuff, a big thanks to ASAPH SIA the director aka main actor, and to Vincent the camera man, Joanna who helped us alot, Maggi the make up artist and Ting Fong the time record keeper hehe.. Was a dazzling experience as I've learnt plenty throughout the shooting...
Things will be like that if it have to...
Cheers to everyone and good luck to all!

I'm Dreaming Tonight

在这世界上…
永远这个字还存在吗？

刚拍完一部短片，
故事是讲一对很痴情地情侣，
都相信着永远…

也许永远这个定义，
在每个人身上都不一样，
而我的定义呢？
放弃的那一天，就是达到永远…

有时人应该学会接受事实，
人一旦放弃了某些东西，都会对它不理不睬了…
我接受了…你呢？

To Her Who Suffered..

Was chatting with her on msn, knew that she is suffering a lot.
We both used to be very cheerful and it was just laughter surrounding us by then, but things really change, she was no longer that cheerful girl I've met since..
Whenever I asked about how is she and he getting on, there were no happy replies, no joy of telling me about them, just tears and doubts.

This is what I wanna tell her:
Mei,I know we both are facing almost the same situation,we both shed tears in front of each other, I know how you felt, and I know how you felt for him exactly. If you never have such feelings for him, after so many years, I know you would have left earlier rather than suffering alone here with all the things that confused you alot and wonder why is this happening although you had done best to save everything. Baby girl, things are not as easy as we know last time, feelings untold, things happen out of our control, what we can do best now is to at least learn to love ourselves again, learn to give most priority to those who deserved all your hard work and love.
Things won't change for us because we want them to.. I know we shouldn't be saying what or who is worth or not, but somehow come to a certain stage, we just could not keep on giving out and getting things throwing back at us, at the end, we are the one who suffered, then from there, we should be thinking, do we worth all this after all the love and care?
I know sometimes truth hurts alot and often do make us fall, but that is also the chance that we will stand up from where we fall, even if we have to climb from that fall, it still worth alot.. Acccepting the truth and doing things that is right for yourself is the most precious gift you can ever give to yourself and to those who love you..
After all this years crying alone in the dark, are you ready to climb up from the fall again? Just wanna let you know that, I will be there to lend you a helping hand.. Along the way upon from the fall,if you can't walk well, I am there to support your back and help you walk through this road.
Just remember this mei, we only have 1 life, and if this life ends, thats it, we can't turn back time and start all over again. That's why we should be making life happier and richer, shower this one and only life with all the best and wonderful things on earth! Don't make yourself regret more than once, cause the once is enough to ruin so many wonderful things in life..

Lots of care and love,
Sis.

Malacca

Well was off for a 3 days bussiness trip to Malacca, was fun... Sorry to some of my friends coz I was busy to update my blog, even if I had the time, it won't be a detail one, hehe...

Well I kinda enjoy working in this environment, it's a small company and people here are so nice and treated me well, I guess I was lucky to have this job. Sometimes I felt kinda depressed over what I am doing now, I felt that I can't contribute much to the company and to my supervisor, it made me having the feeling of being useless sometimes, but well I progressed alot through these few weeks, mood swinging real often, but I always managed to tune my mood back in time =D

Not sure if anyone know the feeling when you are sitting down seeing every colleagues of yours were rushing for projects and stuff, and you can't give much help, and when I told my supervisor about it, he was so nice to tell me that it's ok, trainee is to train and need time to progress, asked me not to stress myself and just try my best. Where else can I get such supervisor? Kept his words in my heart, the least I could do is to sometimes cheer him up with some stupid cold jokes and IQs, well I learned a lesson from him, never give out IQ test to engineers,try it and you will know why haha...

Not sure why I wanna type this sentence, just wanna say that sometimes you do things and make yourself regret, wish could sometimes turn back time. =D

Nice day people, special regards to Dang,Hau Shen, Mady, Joe.. Missing you guys ^^